I feel like we all try to be the perfect image, the perfect mom, the perfect wife, perfect friend; as if no one has flaws. Unfortunately we all have flaws and fortunately God gave us the means to have both flaws and a way to change our flaws or forgive flaws. Living in a life of social media, the bright lights of the camera only show the best of what is happening in our lives. No one wants to say “I can’t get my s***t together today” or my life is a complete mess because then we’d have to admit that we were human, that guess what world, we suck today and we’re happy we do. Or that your sadness is so true that posting about it almost takes the true tears away by people liking or sad face emoji replying to make you feel better about it.
I’ve spent the better part of the last year in tears or angry, sure there were lots of laughing and smiling that happened but you don’t usually see photos of the sadness, your expression when the fear of leaving, the heart wrenching agony that overcomes you and forces tears. Who wants to capture splotchy faced, tear-stained checks and puffy eyes? Who wants to admit defeat and tell the world about it. No one. Here’s the truth, life is tough, we are all going through things, some small in the big scheme of life and yet so earth shattering, others so big and unbelievable but true to the core. Why don’t we just embrace it all, wrap our arms around it and say… world, this is me…all messy and human. Today I’m sharing my messy human self, as tough as it is to put it out there. I’m not perfect, I make mistakes and my life is a mess some days.
I wanted to capture those moments so I can remember the hardship that this year put on me and my family. When I look back and say, wow what a year, how did you feel, I’ll see it right there… the sadness of goodbyes, last hugs, school drop offs that aren’t taken for granted, shifts in love and imperfection at its core and memories that made us who we are. They are not glamorous, but it’s the truth and it’s my story to tell; smushed between each happy moment is a sad mama waiting for the next happy moment.